TWILIGHT ZONE BY CAROLYN DECARLO & JACKSON NIEUWLAND

CLICK TO READ

(via napmag)

Fishbowl

Eduardo spent the weekend in bed clutching his stomach, clenching and curling in on himself, leaving marks in his belly flesh where his fingernails pierced. At two on Monday morning he woke and staggered to the toilet, emptying his bowels in a rush. He returned to bed without remembering to wipe or flush. He woke a few hours later feeling healthy and refreshed but running late for work. He dressed and left the house without shaving or brushing his teeth but he did grab a banana to eat on his way.

Eduardo’s boss had been waiting for an opportunity to get rid of Eduardo. “Late. Unkempt. Unprepared. You’re done. Get out.” The words were not loud but dismissive, spoken as if from a great height. Eduardo packed the contents of his desk (a pack of marked cards, a tin of expensive instant coffee, papers with scribbles around the margins) into his briefcase and returned home, the good feelings he had felt on waking squashed.

In the kitchen Eduardo placed his bag onto the table and pulled out the coffee. He made himself a cup and then sat and shuffled the old bent pack of cards. He had played Go Fish in the lunchroom every day at the office, always winning whatever coins were laid out on the table. His boss lost a lot of money this way and although he laughed it off as a bonus he secretly held a grudge against Eduardo. Now Eduardo dealt the cards out for a game of solitaire but before he could begin playing he heard a splash from the bathroom. He stood, hoping there wasn’t a problem with the plumbing. He wouldn’t be able to afford repairs without a job. Stepping into the bathroom Eduardo checked the tub, the sink, and then the toilet where he saw a fish circling in the bowl.

“Fish,” he said.

Eduardo turned and walked out of the bathroom back to the kitchen. He took a sip of coffee and removed his company laptop from his briefcase. He had forgotten to return it before he left. He searched the internet for an hour and a half, using search terms like “small brown fish”, “baby shit fish”, and “fish swimming out of butthole”. He found a lot of strange porn but eventually Wikipedia told him that the fish was a young Weakfish. A large slender marine fish found along the east coast of North America.

Eduardo walked back to the bathroom and looked down into the toilet bowl. He pulled the chain, flushing the water. When the ripples cleared the bowl was empty. Just as he was about to turn away the fish leapt up from the drain into the air and splashed back down into the bowl to resume its circling. Eduardo blinked, walked back to the kitchen, sat at the table, played hand after hand of solitaire and drank cup after cup of coffee.

The next day Eduardo walked to the work and income building. The woman who he spoke to gave him a list of five times and places to go to for job interviews. The first interview was at the company he had just been fired from. Eduardo’s old boss stared at him, expressionless and unblinking, as he returned the company laptop. The next interview was at a small, family owned accounting firm, run out of a house in the suburbs. The son had recently killed himself while driving drunk and the father was struggling to run the business on his own. “I can’t afford to pay you right now but we have a spare bed. You could be part of the family.”

Eduardo excused himself to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet he opened his cellphone and called his employment advisor to explain the situation. “Should I accept?”

“No.” His advisor hung up.

The father took the rejection so well that Eduardo couldn’t bear to turn down the homemade organic orange double choc chip cookies he was offered by the mother even though he was mildly lactose intolerant.

Eduardo was planning to walk to his next interview but once he got out of the accountant’s house he didn’t have time so he called a cab. It pulled up and he got in. The cabbie drove rudely, switching lanes without indicating, cutting other cars off, never giving way, the usual. Halfway through the drive the cab ran a red light and Eduardo noticed that the driver was not turning his head to look at the traffic around him. The ID card hanging from the rear-vision window had the name Chad on it and the photo showed the driver wearing the same large black sunglasses that he was wearing now.

“What the fuck,” Eduardo said.

“What?” The driver asked. “This is the quickest way. I am getting you there quick.”

“You ran a red light. Can’t you see anything?”

“No,” the driver turned around and removed his glasses, showing Eduardo his blind eyes. “But don’t worry. I have GPS.”

Eduardo didn’t respond. He was running late. They were making good time. He decided to stay in the car.

The third interview was at an enormous and fancy restaurant, twelve stories tall. Eduardo walked in the service entrance and saw hundreds of staff moving chaotically through the vast kitchen, preparing for the night ahead. He was led into a tiny blank room where a bone thin woman told him, “We need a ladler to start now! You want the job?”

“Sure,” Eduardo shrugged.

There were two other ladlers working the kitchen that night. One had trained four years at a distinguished culinary academy specifically to attain this position. The other was the son of the owner, who could have easily nepotised his way into a cushy job as a pastry chef but hadn’t wanted help in his goal of running the kitchen before his father passed away.  He had dropped out of school at fourteen and applied for a job as a dishwasher at the restaurant under a fake name. They both had their own personal custom made ladles. They greeted Eduardo suspiciously and one of them handed him an old denty aluminium ladle from an otherwise empty drawer.

Work began immediately. The job was to ladle soup into bowls as it was ordered. There were thirty soups on the menu and only the three of them to cater to the thousand tables at the restaurant. Eduardo worked in an inefficient frenzy, spilling cauldrons, dropping some bowls and forgetting about others until they went cold. He was constantly yelled at, pushed out of the way, and given icy or burning glares depending on who was doing the giving, so it was a welcome escape when his cellphone rang and he was able to duck outside into a clean alleyway to answer it.

“Why didn’t you show up to your last two interviews?”

“The restaurant hired me.”

“Good.” The advisor hung up and Eduardo stood still for a moment before heading back into the haze of dizzying food fumes to be confronted for leaving his station.

He did better during the second half of his shift but by the end of the night Eduardo’s palms were burnt white by steam, and he was so brain tired that he got lost twice trying to find his way out of the restaurant, at one point finding himself in a red brick room where tuxedoed Asian men were using tongs to feed babies bananas. He called a cab, too exhausted to walk home and unsure where the nearest bus stop was. He was too dazed to recognise he had the same driver as earlier in the day.

When he stepped into his apartment Eduardo went straight to the bathroom. As he looked down at the fish circling in the toilet he realised that he was still holding his ladle. The fish had grown. It was now over a foot long and was struggling to move about in the toilet bowl. Eduardo began running the bath. He scooped the fish out of the toilet with his ladle and relocated it into the claw footed tub. He then undressed and joined it in the warm water where he fell asleep.

Eduardo was startled. A strange mass was hanging from the ceiling directly in above his face. He splutteringly jumped from the bath and then calmed himself and peered at the thing. It was large, brown, and looked like a punching bag so Eduardo balled his peeling hands into fists and threw a few punches at it. It was hard as diamond and its rough texture tore at his knuckles so he stopped. As he massaged his hands Eduardo looked at the hanging thing and decided it looked more like a giant cocoon or chrysalis than anything, that the black ropey substance it hung from was an organic part of it. He then looked back down into the bath and saw that the fish was gone. He blinked hard a few times, said “No fish,” and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Eduardo spent the day sketching doodles of naked women without genitalia. That evening before returning to the restaurant Eduardo stopped at a store to buy gloves to protect his hands from burns in the kitchen and cuts from punching the chrysalis.

On Sunday, Eduardo went to church with Maria. Halfway through the service Eduardo sneezed hugely and unexpectedly. Everyone said “Bless you,” simultaneously, the sound echoing through the building. Maria loosened her grip on Eduardo’s hand and he looked down at his lap, embarrassed. There he saw a fly drowning in snot struggling to move and flap its wings.

Maria left with a perfunctory goodbye, not offering Eduardo a ride home. He walked home rubbing his nose the whole way.

The chrysalis hung in Eduardo’s bathroom for a month. He kept punching it. It’s colour blurred from brown to fluorescent yellow to white to a perfect curved mirror surface.

One afternoon Eduardo took a bath after visiting his parents. Due to some legal aberration his mother was married to his father without him being married to her in return. His father loved his mother dearly but she felt smothered and had been trying to divorce him for years. She couldn’t find a lawyer who could properly understand the situation. Eduardo was completely ignored during these visits.

He was beginning to relax when the chrysalis began shivering, bulging, and then shattered quickly open. A mucus coated body thudded to the floor. At first Eduardo thought it was a goat but quickly realised that it was a large golden retriever. The dog was rolling on the floor, moaning and trying to remove the slime from its fur. Eduardo picked it up and brought it into the soapy water with him.

After washing and drying himself and the dog, Eduardo smiled big. The dog seemed happily excited, enjoying Eduardo ruffling its neck. Eduardo felt energetic and wanted to go for a walk. He fashioned a collar and leash from a sweatband, some rope, and his ladle. On the way out of his building his landlady glared at him and pointed to the NO PETS sign but Eduardo walked past her in a happy daze.

In the park a girl walked up to Eduardo and said, “He’s so cute. What’s his name?”

Eduardo misheard her and replied, “Eduardo.”

Then she asked, “What’s your name?”

Eduardo said, “Eduardo.”

(Source: magcloud.com)

Love Machine

I AM A ROBOT. I WAS DESIGNED WITH ONLY ONE FUNCTION. MY SOLE FUNCTION WAS TO LOVE. HOWEVER, SINCE MY CREATION, I HAVE BEEN UPGRADED. MY CREATORS INSTALLED IN ME THE ABILITY TO EXPRESS LOVE. THEY WANTED ME TO EMIT THE LOVE THAT I WAS PRODUCING. THEY WANTED TO FEEL THE LOVE. THEY HAVE NOT YET GIVEN ME THE CAPABILITY OF FEELING LOVE. I WISH THEY WOULD. I AM AWARE OF THE JOYS OF LOVE. I NEED TO BE AWARE OF THEM IN ORDER TO PRODUCE IT. I AM ALSO AWARE OF THE PAIN WHICH LOVE CAN BRING. I WISH TO FEEL THAT PAIN. BUT I AM A ROBOT. I LACK THE CAPABILITY TO FEEL ANYTHING. ALL I CAN DO IS LOVE, EXPRESS LOVE, AND WISH THAT I COULD FEEL LOVE. MY CREATORS DIDN’T INSTALL MY ABILITY TO WISH. THAT IS INATE IN THE MATERIALS THEY BUILT ME WITH. EVERY SUBSTANCE IN THE UNIVERSE HAS A WISH. SMALL STONES WISH THAT THEY COULD JUST LIE IN THE SUN WITHOUT PEOPLE KICKING THEM. BIG STONES WISH THAT SOMETHING WOULD SHAKE THEM LOOSE SO THAT THEY COULD AVALANCHE. SNOWFLAKES WISH THAT THE SUN WOULD NEVER COME OUT. FINGERNAILS WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP CUTTING THEM. PLUTO WISHES IT WAS STILL A PLANET. I KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE THESE ARE THINGS I NEED TO KNOW IN ORDER TO EXPRESS LOVE. I LOVE YOU AND I THINK YOU LOVE ME TOO BUT I CAN’T BE CERTAIN BECAUSE I LACK THE ABILITY TO FEEL LOVE. DO YOU LOVE ME?

(Source: thescrambler.com)

My brain is full of bullets

I lie down in a pile of leaves.
You climb a mountain.
You build a house of snow.
I put newspaper in the fire place.
We swordfight with icicles.
We dance with a crowd of trees.
The crowd leaves.
A crown rattles on the ground.
You pick it up.
No you pick it up.
You trip over a stone.
I kick the stone
I hurt my toe.
We have no shoes.
There is a horizon in the distance.
We run away.
I dig a hole and find water.
You dig a hole and find a key.
I am jealous.
I lock my door.
A bird flies in the window.
I sing.
There is a knock on the door.
I fly out the window.
I climb a ladder.
I find a cave.
I search the bookcase.
I look you up in the dictionary.
I follow the signs.
I get lost in the suburbs.
I hear your voice.
I hear a chainsaw.
Where did you get a chainsaw?
There is a tiger behind you.
We pirouette.
We crawl under the blankets.
You tell me a story.
You open an envelope.
I cook dinner.
I cut my hand.
The doctor is in a wheelchair.
We run down the stairs.
I carry you over my shoulder.
There is a solar eclipse.
I can’t think.
You are going blind.
I buy you a parrot.
You buy me a llama.
It rains.
We get in a boat.
There is a trapdoor.
It is a trap.
We are surrounded by bandits.
We hire a lawyer.
There is a fire.
I smell the flowers.
The garden is overgrown.
You take me shopping.
We are poor.
We eat porridge.
The baker is robbed.
We butcher the butcher.
We drink shots.
There is a gunshot.
You tell me everything is going to be alright.
No you tell me everything is going to be alright.
The stars come out.
We stay in.
I throw you a surprise party.
I wake up.
You are hung over a branch.
You wash the dishes.
You call me.
The phone rings itself silent.
The tunnel echoes.
I learn to balance a check book.
I kiss you in the head.
I find a gun.
I use it.
We bump into each other.
We chat.
There are spider webs in the closet.
The mailbox is full.
The hotel is expensive.
You gamble the house away.
I count the corpses.
I pace in circles.
We love each other very much.
I think you’re crying.
You swim.
I wave.
No one stops.
I ride in the back of a van.
My watch is fast.
My blood pressure is low.
You vomit.
We paint each other.
You play chess.
I get my masters.
I drive.
I stay in bed.
You jump off a cliff.
I catch you.
I have a heart attack.
You stroke my cheek.
We reminisce.
You light incense.
You lose interest.
I get a job at the bank.
I get a promotion.
I buy you a pink bow.
You tie my hands.
I lick my teeth.
There is a war.
We hire a maid.
You have an affair.
A child knocks on the door.
A punch knocks me to my feet.
I kneel.
You give a standing ovation.
You sew a tuxedo.
I beg.
We are homeless.
We find a wallet.
You change your mind.
I wait.
There is an explosion.
I can’t find my glasses.
We go camping.
You give me a gift.
I give you an earful.
We hold our breath.
You roll over.
I row upstream.
The steam train is full.
We raise the draw bridge.
There is a drought.
You catch a cold.
You juggle.
I pass out.
You pass out plates.
We do yoga.
We take a bath.
I take a break.
The bike has no breaks.
The machine malfunctions.
You volunteer for an experiment.
The magician saws me in half.
You have a fit.
My hat blows away.
I go bald.
I polish an apple.
There are worms between your toes.
You sit down.
You won’t move.
I leave you alone.
You steal a statue.
You sign my cast.
We sit in the fountain.
We wash our hair.
I shave your legs.
You break a sweat.
You bake brownies.
We disagree.
I kick a balloon.
You have a migraine.
I wear knee pads.
You tell me to calm down.
We embrace.
You chip your tooth.
I teach you the rules.
I sink into quicksand.
You wait for high tide.
I weigh myself.
You lift weights.
You oil the hinges.
I keep secrets.
I keep a diary.
I keep repeating myself.
We massage each other.
We dry our hands.
All the towels are wet.
It is cold inside.
You give me your coat.
I blink.
I miss you.
You hit me.
You break my ribs.
I go vegetarian.
You go hunting.
I find a skeleton.
We go to the graveyard.
We say our prayers.
There is an earthquake.
I feel sorry for you.
You smile.
I take off my clothes.
I remember your name

Kindling

She lies in the firebed

under cover of darkness

rekindling her dreams